♥ XueEn's Blog ♥

Friday, October 12, 2007

shoooo~ one yr flew just like tat frm dead since 121006 to currently 121007 a yr.sighs everything happen very sudden just like tt, still rem clearly...i was totally held back lost.really lost dint knw wad to do.cried almost every single day till i lost my voice pratically just daze,pretendin to be strong being as cheerful as ever.wad can i do 240704 e story started officially ended on 121006.dead since 121006 e impact is definitely great.hwever i had really learnt it seriously took me mths n mths till it fades.4 past experiences almost just enuff to kill me hwever i had to keep on goin no matters wad happen.untill tat day tat another person. i really really put my soul n heart in belive everything said enjoys e accompany.u came in i let u in.till nw still beliving there might be doubts but i really dunno,couldnt care much so wad if i really persue fr it.everything will sure come to an end as ppl alw say,all i wan nw is just study my best n couldnt care much o levels priority 22nd my papers starts 12 nov is my last paper one more monthi swear aft o level im gonna play all day n night go work work work do wadever it takes to occupy me whole day.results will be out in janurary sch starts in ending feb which means i only hav 2 n half mth to 'enjoy' will sure make full use of e time,ppl often say i hav no time fr tis fr tat blah blah blah.oh u knw wad if u really wanna do smth even though theres only 10 sec u'll do it.u'll do it no matters hw long or hw short it takes cause u hav e heart.wad didint kill u make u even stronger heard tis like upteen times.yes yes yes.wads live happily ever after? it seems so so so far frm me which only happens in fariy tales.when i was a kid ppl ard me keep tellin me to belive in fariy tales.one day ur prince charming will appear, u'll live happiliy tgt with him got loads of money no worries.YA RIGHT!.so true~~~e dreams long shattered when i had realised hw ugly n cruel tis world is,even if in fariy tales there alw be e witch/dragon/monsters to seperate e 2 main chracters ,but they will be killed.BUT in reality these witches cum dragon cum monsters in disguise do exist n when u kill them u'll charged fr muder hw unfair? n u knw wad tis ppl dun die so easily hence ya see e great difference fariy tales n real life similarly in dramas haaaaa~ happy ending.all these only act as false hope fr ppl i think.but it really hlps when u knw tt tis wont happen in real life,but e drama at least let u see tat tis is happenin n u too can be like them.lesson learnt 4 times nvr ever hope wish.trusting e wrong person can really kills.esp when its e person u knw so well,so long and they hide their bad points/another face so well tat u cant see it.in love u will alw alw alw be e blind one.no matters hw imperfect e person u'll still think hes perfect.sighs sighs sighs i really cant afford to do to tis anymore e price paid is so great n unberable.everything seems like illusion to me.im nvr ever protected ever since im a kid.im e eldest which means i hav to set a good example to my siblings.taking great n heavy reponsibilities fr taking care of them.i hav 2 sisters which is 9 and 11 yrs younger than me.e only ones i can talk to relate to is my bro or cousins.e gap between my parents seems so so so so great which i nw alr feel theres no point in doing anything to reduce e gap.wad i really wan is study hard,be sucessful nxt time when i grow up.hoping e best fr my siblings n parents,i'll be contented.no matterswad happen to me i'll just take it n let it be i just wan ppl ard me to be happy tats all i cann wish fr.smtimes i really really wish to live fr myself but it just so difficult fr me.sighs i guess tis is my life i was created to live like tat and to oblige no matters wad.i realise tt i had nvr persue smth tat i really really wan.haaaa~funny right wells tats me.nth much dumb just dumb practically dumb.im like a living/dead zombie.dun care alr kill my brain cells further i will seriously be even dumber.

okays! lets start frm today.....
went ps meet chelle.gr.eh.at.adr. waited awhile den go food court eat dint really eat though.eh n adr was eating strawberry milk n mango milk ice wth? so nice can hahas wanted to try e monster ice but no time so yupps.tried one piece of strawberry frm eh though not bad hahas.sweet n sour.aft tt hy n at came gr went with them to eat kfc while we wait eh to finish his ice.l0rs hahas again aft tt went 'fish market' hahas with chelle,eh n adr. ate abit hahas wanted to watch movie aft tt but all e shows like umm. den nice de is nc 16 also cannot go in so yupps.in e end went to cathay want to go e2max to watch dvd de but there dun hav rooms so ben n jerry first hehes damm nice! shared with chelle strawberry cheesecake,choc brownie and cookies n cream superb man.hehes afterwards took bus headed to cine.took a room with 4 coms n tv.gr,eh,at,adr was busy dotaing while me hy chelle was watching 'who slpt with her' korean de show m18 =XX.hahas i totally laugh through out e movies damm hilarious lahs u guys shld go watch hehes.chelle went off to meet her cousins aft tt den after watching finish jiu take mrt go my near my house there market de roti prata hahas.went home hy n at left.den me,gr,adr n eh walk-ed hme adr sent gr to his bustop hahas so gay =XX L0RS. finally reached home hehes. tats all fr today i got to study again alr, arghs i know its like no life but still o levels got to study okays no choice given a choice i would rather watch tv n go out play correct so ya.
alrights den song fr today~~

wo bu xiang wang ji ni by guo jing.claire
heres e lyrics :
我在向前走却像在退后
我在用想念狂欢寂寞
越快乐就越失落
爱将我们高高举起以后
再让心学会追梦
怀念这宽阔的天空
虽然那里空气很稀薄
我努力想起你笑着哭泣
让自己深爱你再学会放弃
我不想忘记你就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你哭也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定虽然艰辛
我不说对不起
一个人不懂什么是拥有
俩个人不懂怎么把握
越在乎就越脆弱
爱将我们高高举起以后
再让心学会追梦
怀念这宽阔的天空
虽然那里空气很稀薄
我努力想起你笑着哭泣
让自己深爱你再学会放弃
我不想忘记你就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你哭也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定虽然艰辛
我不说对不起~~~

i totally love tis song!.xDD.
if my i dint delete my old blog today would be e 1st yr hahas wad a waste but nvm frgt it.
my old blog www.xuexuesxueen.blogspot.com no longer exist. dead since 121006 is alr history.

a=1,b=2,c=3,d=4,e=5,f=6,g=7,h=8,i=9,j=10,k=11,l=12,
m=13,n=14,o=15,p=16,q=17,r=18,s=19,t=20,u=21,v=22,w=23,x=24,y=25,z=26
ms chamb said tt during graduation ceremony.love=54%friends=72% which is way m0ore more more worth it.attitude makes 100%.rights...xueen=68% lousy man hahas okays wadever byes~

love notes @ 8:27:00 PM